literal.

i submitted my tat to literary tattoos.
i gave a weak explanation but it would
take a while to say what it means to me.

i will submit derek's later when he tells
me what he wants me to write.

i love my tattoo.
i love his tattoo.

last night i told him he will always remember
me because we got our big tattoos together.
and he said "you think i would forget about you?"
i said "maybe" and he said "why?"
"...i don't know".
i don't know?


i rode wildfire today, he is a grey
pony with blue eyes and i am so in love
with him. he cuddles me and likes when
you brush his face.
he is so much different than happy,
he's much smaller than happy and
his canter is so tiny that you
barely feel him under you. so cute.
he looks like a breyer horse with his little
pink hooves. i wish i had taken a picture
after i gave him his bath.

and today kim told derek &i that we are MEANT to be
and though i hate "meant to be's" and "soul mates"
i can't help but think about the whole way things
happened. how i saw him everywhere after i saw him
at work. and how i was just drawn to him. even though
i had always dated um...black guys before. it was just
something about him.
and i know it was an unfortunate end for
his prior relationship, and my intent was never to impose...
but i truly believe things happen for a reason.
i really do. and that will always comfort me,
even when i feel like i did the wrong thing.


plus i am tired of dwelling, i just want to LIVE!


after i ride, it's like i just went to an hour long
therapy session, and things just float through
my head as opposed to everything cramming
itself in at once.

the tattoo makes me feel good, too.
even if people tell me they like it
and then go to someone else and say
"WHY DID SHE DO THAT?!"
not cool, guyzzzz.