gratitude journal [day three.]

1. ideas. i bought alice's adventures in wonderland, and through the looking glass tonight and me and my boo watched gremlins and i just thought...isn't it amazing how one person has a thought or an idea, does something with it...and then EVERYONE sees it how you saw it, or makes it their own. everyone is seeing, reading, or hearing YOUR idea. or how was love certain poets, writers, artists... we love their ideas. and what if those certain people had never been born and those exact ideas were never put into action? what if something happened in that person's life differently, causing them to be different people. we would never have seen those ideas. and don't even get me started on people who invented things we use everyday! it amazes me. a person thought something up and now we can't live without it.

2. drama. lol. i know that sounds crazy but what would our lives be like if everyone we met was pleasant? if we never had an "oh no she didn't" moment to tell everyone about later, or if we never got in fights. let's face it...we need drama in our lives, or else it would get boring. i don't mind drama...i don't CAUSE drama, but it doesn't really bother me. i know i'll get over it sooner or later haha. and while it is happening it's that little rush of adrenaline. OH NO SHE DIDN'T. cut me in line. call me miserable. etc, etc. even the little things. the big things, are not so fun. like... boyfriend problems, family problems...but those teach you things, about yourself and about everyone else involved. so i guess it can be a positive thing, right? a learning experience in the end. as long as you get over it. because if the drama makes itself permanent in your life, you are probably the one causing it. no diggity.

3. yeah, yeah i get sick of people asking about my tattoos and piercings. and some people looking at me like i am disgusting. but then there are the older people, or middle-aged people who you would expect to be like "ew" and they are like "wow, that actually looks REALLY nice!" or asking me how i get it in/out, why i got it there, etc...and then saying "it's not for me but it looks really nice on you" just the fact that they asked because they wanted to know, and not to embarrass me. some people will ask me and then say "thats disgusting" or grab their face and cringe and say "ewwww" it's like, yeah...thanks. but when the people you least expect to like them do...it gives you a little bit of hope. like, maybe i should assume people LOVE them before i assume they hate them. which i usually do anyways haha but it's a good way to think about everything. don't always assume people are being so critical of you.

4. people. soo many different people. everyone we talk to changes our day, which in turn changes our life in some way or another. may it be small or big. anyone we see might change the way we think of/look at something. when we see other people interacting it can make us sad, or happy, or sympathetic, or angry, etc. people react to other people's actions. when you are driving and someone is being an a-hole, that can put you in a bad mood. and vice versa. the tiniest comment can change your day. i think it's amazing. i think things happen for a reason and we run into/meet/see certain people for a reason. and i think it's great. i love it.

5. my rationality. i am always always always rationalizing and i try to stop myself sometimes because i think i am making excuses for other people acting certain ways. but i am realizing that there is a difference. when i rationalize i think of every possible reason someone could have treated me the way they did. be it good or bad. sometimes it's not even worth thinking about, by my brain just does it. and it really helps me keep my cool. and sort out the right response. i am pretty good at figuring out why someone is acting a certain way, and i am good at responding accordingly. i LOVE that. i really do appreciate it. i'm going to attribute it either to my father's calm demeanor or my mother's overthinking. maybe it is both. i call it my way of rationalizing because it tends to diffuse a lot of situations. and if i see that someone has no reason to act a certain way [negatively] i just assume that they are jealous [because that IS a main cause of rage without a reason] or that that have their own issues to work out. i ignore those people, because a reaction is what they are looking for...and it's hard sometimes but you know. i'm glad i can SEE why people act certain ways instead of just looking past the WHY and getting mad just because the other person is. i know people who get mad just because the other person is, without thinking and don't even want to hear the WHY, and i think that is a good way to give yourself a headache. so again, i'm really happy with the way my brain functions. haha. i AM a hypocrite regarding this while i am PMSing, though. that's a promise. i am a different person almost. eek.