gratitude journal [day two.]

1. approval of people who matter. my aunt liz and my mom's reaction to my tattoo. surprisingly awesome. they called me downstairs and i already knew what it was about haha. my aunt was like, "i am an english teacher and you weren't going to show me?" so i took them in the bathroom and showed them and they both said it was very nice and laughed and my aunt said it should have a period and quotations and my mom just said i am her little mary penny.wild child. it made me feel a lot better about it. my only qualm was what my family would think and they approved so i am feeling very very well! ;]

2. animals. at horseback riding last night i was tacking up happy and he was trying to take treats out of my pocket and he was acting all shooter-ish when i was riding him haha. but i love interacting with animals... it's so weird. i love all the doggies in my family, and i love hearing about peoples pets. animals are better companions than people when you are hurting, that's for sure. i can't imagine being with someone who didn't love and appreciate animals as much as i do.

3. compliments. so many people have been complimenting me on my hair. it makes me feel good. i guess that it why i like to change my hair sometimes but i really do love the red and always have. also, my family members kept telling me that i am wasting away and that they are going to sit me down and feed me. i haven't even realized i had lost weight. i thought i was gaining! [but that could be the pms] but it felt really good to hear those things. i'm not the type to fish for compliments, and i don't take them well most of the time. either getting shy about it, or not knowing what to say back, and being uncomfortable. but lately i feel good about them. and they make me feel good about myself.

4. my boyfriend, derek. he is a good guy. seeing him interact with my family tonight even while i was out drying dishes. and playing scat with me and my grandma and cousins and brothers. it felt really good. and enduring my other grandma's questions and stories. and when she made me tell her all the details of how we met. it was cute. and my mom and sister turned around in the living room to listen. it's a stupid story but they thought it was funny. anyways, back to him... he makes me feel good...and he gets along with my family. and he made the pudding surprise they have been begging for since last thanksgiving. i couldn't ask for a better boyfriend, really. he is good to me.

5. my grandparents. both sides. but when i lose hope in marriage and life companions...i think of my grandparents on my mom's side. 56 years now. and they are SO cute. i love them so much. and i know they love me and wish they saw more of me. my grandma begged me to come see her more often and when me and derek have off to come over for dinner. i wish i didn't work so much just to see them more. they go to alabama every year for as long as i can remember and they said that this is their last year because they think they are too old to keep driving down there. which makes me sad because you don't realize people are getting older, you know what i mean? you don't realize until something happens to throw it in your face. i vow to myself to see them more often. because i know if i don't, i will regret it. my grandma told us how when she was in college she dyed her hair light pink. i thought that was so awesome and makes me see a little more of myself in her. she has been through a lot and is still an amazing person with a lot to teach me, even though sometimes i don't want to listen. i bet my grandpa misses when we were all little and wanted to watch him do his magic tricks. to think that when my sister or i have kids they will be great grandparents... i barely remember my great grandparents...which makes me sad that my kids may not know my grandparents very well. my grandpa was the first buffalo police officer to have a college degree in criminal justice. they fostered several kids over the years, even with four of their own, and everyone was treated with the same love. and they are just amazing people. i don't happen to know my dad's father too well because he is very reserved...but i do know my grandma, and i don't want to leave her out of this because she is an amazing person. and amazing grandma, she is like my dad and would do anything for us. and i should go visit her more often, too. i love them. it's funny how we take our families for granted when they had the most to do with making us who we are.