1. ideas. i bought alice's adventures in wonderland, and through the looking glass tonight and me and my boo watched gremlins and i just thought...isn't it amazing how one person has a thought or an idea, does something with it...and then EVERYONE sees it how you saw it, or makes it their own. everyone is seeing, reading, or hearing YOUR idea. or how was love certain poets, writers, artists... we love their ideas. and what if those certain people had never been born and those exact ideas were never put into action? what if something happened in that person's life differently, causing them to be different people. we would never have seen those ideas. and don't even get me started on people who invented things we use everyday! it amazes me. a person thought something up and now we can't live without it.
2. drama. lol. i know that sounds crazy but what would our lives be like if everyone we met was pleasant? if we never had an "oh no she didn't" moment to tell everyone about later, or if we never got in fights. let's face it...we need drama in our lives, or else it would get boring. i don't mind drama...i don't CAUSE drama, but it doesn't really bother me. i know i'll get over it sooner or later haha. and while it is happening it's that little rush of adrenaline. OH NO SHE DIDN'T. cut me in line. call me miserable. etc, etc. even the little things. the big things, are not so fun. like... boyfriend problems, family problems...but those teach you things, about yourself and about everyone else involved. so i guess it can be a positive thing, right? a learning experience in the end. as long as you get over it. because if the drama makes itself permanent in your life, you are probably the one causing it. no diggity.
3. yeah, yeah i get sick of people asking about my tattoos and piercings. and some people looking at me like i am disgusting. but then there are the older people, or middle-aged people who you would expect to be like "ew" and they are like "wow, that actually looks REALLY nice!" or asking me how i get it in/out, why i got it there, etc...and then saying "it's not for me but it looks really nice on you" just the fact that they asked because they wanted to know, and not to embarrass me. some people will ask me and then say "thats disgusting" or grab their face and cringe and say "ewwww" it's like, yeah...thanks. but when the people you least expect to like them do...it gives you a little bit of hope. like, maybe i should assume people LOVE them before i assume they hate them. which i usually do anyways haha but it's a good way to think about everything. don't always assume people are being so critical of you.
4. people. soo many different people. everyone we talk to changes our day, which in turn changes our life in some way or another. may it be small or big. anyone we see might change the way we think of/look at something. when we see other people interacting it can make us sad, or happy, or sympathetic, or angry, etc. people react to other people's actions. when you are driving and someone is being an a-hole, that can put you in a bad mood. and vice versa. the tiniest comment can change your day. i think it's amazing. i think things happen for a reason and we run into/meet/see certain people for a reason. and i think it's great. i love it.
5. my rationality. i am always always always rationalizing and i try to stop myself sometimes because i think i am making excuses for other people acting certain ways. but i am realizing that there is a difference. when i rationalize i think of every possible reason someone could have treated me the way they did. be it good or bad. sometimes it's not even worth thinking about, by my brain just does it. and it really helps me keep my cool. and sort out the right response. i am pretty good at figuring out why someone is acting a certain way, and i am good at responding accordingly. i LOVE that. i really do appreciate it. i'm going to attribute it either to my father's calm demeanor or my mother's overthinking. maybe it is both. i call it my way of rationalizing because it tends to diffuse a lot of situations. and if i see that someone has no reason to act a certain way [negatively] i just assume that they are jealous [because that IS a main cause of rage without a reason] or that that have their own issues to work out. i ignore those people, because a reaction is what they are looking for...and it's hard sometimes but you know. i'm glad i can SEE why people act certain ways instead of just looking past the WHY and getting mad just because the other person is. i know people who get mad just because the other person is, without thinking and don't even want to hear the WHY, and i think that is a good way to give yourself a headache. so again, i'm really happy with the way my brain functions. haha. i AM a hypocrite regarding this while i am PMSing, though. that's a promise. i am a different person almost. eek.
gratitude journal [day two.]
1. approval of people who matter. my aunt liz and my mom's reaction to my tattoo. surprisingly awesome. they called me downstairs and i already knew what it was about haha. my aunt was like, "i am an english teacher and you weren't going to show me?" so i took them in the bathroom and showed them and they both said it was very nice and laughed and my aunt said it should have a period and quotations and my mom just said i am her little mary penny.wild child. it made me feel a lot better about it. my only qualm was what my family would think and they approved so i am feeling very very well! ;]
2. animals. at horseback riding last night i was tacking up happy and he was trying to take treats out of my pocket and he was acting all shooter-ish when i was riding him haha. but i love interacting with animals... it's so weird. i love all the doggies in my family, and i love hearing about peoples pets. animals are better companions than people when you are hurting, that's for sure. i can't imagine being with someone who didn't love and appreciate animals as much as i do.
3. compliments. so many people have been complimenting me on my hair. it makes me feel good. i guess that it why i like to change my hair sometimes but i really do love the red and always have. also, my family members kept telling me that i am wasting away and that they are going to sit me down and feed me. i haven't even realized i had lost weight. i thought i was gaining! [but that could be the pms] but it felt really good to hear those things. i'm not the type to fish for compliments, and i don't take them well most of the time. either getting shy about it, or not knowing what to say back, and being uncomfortable. but lately i feel good about them. and they make me feel good about myself.
4. my boyfriend, derek. he is a good guy. seeing him interact with my family tonight even while i was out drying dishes. and playing scat with me and my grandma and cousins and brothers. it felt really good. and enduring my other grandma's questions and stories. and when she made me tell her all the details of how we met. it was cute. and my mom and sister turned around in the living room to listen. it's a stupid story but they thought it was funny. anyways, back to him... he makes me feel good...and he gets along with my family. and he made the pudding surprise they have been begging for since last thanksgiving. i couldn't ask for a better boyfriend, really. he is good to me.
5. my grandparents. both sides. but when i lose hope in marriage and life companions...i think of my grandparents on my mom's side. 56 years now. and they are SO cute. i love them so much. and i know they love me and wish they saw more of me. my grandma begged me to come see her more often and when me and derek have off to come over for dinner. i wish i didn't work so much just to see them more. they go to alabama every year for as long as i can remember and they said that this is their last year because they think they are too old to keep driving down there. which makes me sad because you don't realize people are getting older, you know what i mean? you don't realize until something happens to throw it in your face. i vow to myself to see them more often. because i know if i don't, i will regret it. my grandma told us how when she was in college she dyed her hair light pink. i thought that was so awesome and makes me see a little more of myself in her. she has been through a lot and is still an amazing person with a lot to teach me, even though sometimes i don't want to listen. i bet my grandpa misses when we were all little and wanted to watch him do his magic tricks. to think that when my sister or i have kids they will be great grandparents... i barely remember my great grandparents...which makes me sad that my kids may not know my grandparents very well. my grandpa was the first buffalo police officer to have a college degree in criminal justice. they fostered several kids over the years, even with four of their own, and everyone was treated with the same love. and they are just amazing people. i don't happen to know my dad's father too well because he is very reserved...but i do know my grandma, and i don't want to leave her out of this because she is an amazing person. and amazing grandma, she is like my dad and would do anything for us. and i should go visit her more often, too. i love them. it's funny how we take our families for granted when they had the most to do with making us who we are.
2. animals. at horseback riding last night i was tacking up happy and he was trying to take treats out of my pocket and he was acting all shooter-ish when i was riding him haha. but i love interacting with animals... it's so weird. i love all the doggies in my family, and i love hearing about peoples pets. animals are better companions than people when you are hurting, that's for sure. i can't imagine being with someone who didn't love and appreciate animals as much as i do.
3. compliments. so many people have been complimenting me on my hair. it makes me feel good. i guess that it why i like to change my hair sometimes but i really do love the red and always have. also, my family members kept telling me that i am wasting away and that they are going to sit me down and feed me. i haven't even realized i had lost weight. i thought i was gaining! [but that could be the pms] but it felt really good to hear those things. i'm not the type to fish for compliments, and i don't take them well most of the time. either getting shy about it, or not knowing what to say back, and being uncomfortable. but lately i feel good about them. and they make me feel good about myself.
4. my boyfriend, derek. he is a good guy. seeing him interact with my family tonight even while i was out drying dishes. and playing scat with me and my grandma and cousins and brothers. it felt really good. and enduring my other grandma's questions and stories. and when she made me tell her all the details of how we met. it was cute. and my mom and sister turned around in the living room to listen. it's a stupid story but they thought it was funny. anyways, back to him... he makes me feel good...and he gets along with my family. and he made the pudding surprise they have been begging for since last thanksgiving. i couldn't ask for a better boyfriend, really. he is good to me.
5. my grandparents. both sides. but when i lose hope in marriage and life companions...i think of my grandparents on my mom's side. 56 years now. and they are SO cute. i love them so much. and i know they love me and wish they saw more of me. my grandma begged me to come see her more often and when me and derek have off to come over for dinner. i wish i didn't work so much just to see them more. they go to alabama every year for as long as i can remember and they said that this is their last year because they think they are too old to keep driving down there. which makes me sad because you don't realize people are getting older, you know what i mean? you don't realize until something happens to throw it in your face. i vow to myself to see them more often. because i know if i don't, i will regret it. my grandma told us how when she was in college she dyed her hair light pink. i thought that was so awesome and makes me see a little more of myself in her. she has been through a lot and is still an amazing person with a lot to teach me, even though sometimes i don't want to listen. i bet my grandpa misses when we were all little and wanted to watch him do his magic tricks. to think that when my sister or i have kids they will be great grandparents... i barely remember my great grandparents...which makes me sad that my kids may not know my grandparents very well. my grandpa was the first buffalo police officer to have a college degree in criminal justice. they fostered several kids over the years, even with four of their own, and everyone was treated with the same love. and they are just amazing people. i don't happen to know my dad's father too well because he is very reserved...but i do know my grandma, and i don't want to leave her out of this because she is an amazing person. and amazing grandma, she is like my dad and would do anything for us. and i should go visit her more often, too. i love them. it's funny how we take our families for granted when they had the most to do with making us who we are.
gratitude journal [day one.]
1. i saw alyssa and steph today at forever 21. two of my oldest and at one point best friends. when you don't see someone after a very long time sometimes you forget how things used to be. especially with friends. because you drift apart and get busy and do your own things. i knew steph since kindergarten and lyss since 2nd grade. we all said that there was "nothing new" with us, when really it's just because we didn't have time to say ALL the things that are new since we haven't had girl talk in years and years. but i was happy for the hugs and to be reminded of good times. i am still smiling.
2. i loved seeing beyonce on tyra! a silly thing to be thankful for but she is so humble and private and i really respect that. she is a beautiful person.and she cried when she sang "if i were a boy" ...i mean she usually cries when she does "flaws and all" but...i don't think she is acting, like a lot of people do. i think her songs mean a lot to her and she knows how much they mean to other people. those songs tend to make me cry on occasion, too. even if her's is fake, that's okay. she is very inspiring to me...not to be a singer, or famous really...it's just something about her that makes you want to be your best. she is so graceful. so though i am not really "thankful" for beyonce being on tyra...it made me smile.
3. the people i work with. yeah. i walked in to get my check today and they always say hi to me and smile, especially tammy. who is in love with derek and i as a couple. anyways... though everyone is not always so personable, there is usually at least one person who is happy to see me. or at least acts like it. and it makes me feel like i actually like working there sometimes haha. then i went to see my boo and i always like seeing him at work because that's where i met him.
4. the fact that i am so laid back and naturally focus on the positive and do not dwell. i have notice people who are constantly sad, miserable, mad, etc. over the past. and yeah those things may have hurt you but... there is nothing you can do about the past, only the future...so make your future happy by seeing everything good that can happen in it. and make the most of it. i know my mom is a dweller and it's impossible to push her out of her slumps...she is still mad about things that happened a long time ago just as if they happened yesterday. i just don't get it. i am SO grateful for my dad's patience, and ability to move on from negative things or turn them into something positive. for his ability to take things in stride and move past them. i can't thank him enough for giving me that! even if he really had very little to do with it.
5. i'll get this out of the way now with the first post... my family. i cannot tell you enough how much i love my mom, dad, sister, and brothers. sure, my mom has some trust/emotional/dwelling issues but don't we all? i wish i could bring her out of that and show her what an amazing life she could have if she just let herself be happy, but she won't really let anybody do that so when she has her good days and bad days, you just accept them. but i can say she rarely yelled at us, never hit/spanked us, and always had our best interests at heart. and i regret taking advantage of how much she wanted to give us and i am sorry that that ungratefulness is already instilled in my brothers as well, but we do love her and we do appreciate everything she does for us/gives us. we were just "taught" that if you lose or break something, you just get a new one. i am really happy she was/is my mom, though. i would not have been the same person. i would probably not be so sensitive. and then there is my dad. he really is the best dad in the world. he never yells, he never swears, and he always apologizes when he is wrong. he is so patient and understanding and accepting. and so laid back. and will do ANYTHING for his kids. and i mean anything. i know that he would go to the ends of the earth to help me with something i needed and i really really appreciate that. i am so glad i got his patient personality like i said before. i don't tell him i love him enough. and barely did when i was younger. because things were different. but i know he knows i do. as for my sister, we did not get along so well when she was a teenager but i remember before that, and after that phase. it's nice to have an older sister. i do look up to her even if i don't show her that. she had her own house at 27. she's single and fine with that, and she is extremely fashionable. which i know very well because i used to take her clothes out of her closet haha. she lets her little sister rent from her and live in her house. i think we admire different things in each other. i admire her will power and i think she admires my let it be, live your life attitude. i've often said i wish i had an older brother but again, i would be a different person. my brother jake, i remember when my mom was pregnant with him. i remember his lazy eye and huge glasses and big curly hair. he was the cutest. i remember building forts and stuff with him. and making up games. we had SO much fun as kids. i'm only 4 years older than him even though i feel a lot older now. and billy, things were the same with him only he is 6 years younger than me they have very different personalities. jake would always get mad and me and bill would be the ones laughing at him.it was fun having two little brothers. i think they helped keep my imagination alive and i am VERY thankful for that. they also kept the little kid in me alive. when we are all together now we still act like we are in elementary school. it's a good thing to have. i would never ever wish again that things were different.
i'm sure we'll be taking family pictures tomorrow at thanksgiving AS ALWAYS!
maybe i will post one or two.
2. i loved seeing beyonce on tyra! a silly thing to be thankful for but she is so humble and private and i really respect that. she is a beautiful person.and she cried when she sang "if i were a boy" ...i mean she usually cries when she does "flaws and all" but...i don't think she is acting, like a lot of people do. i think her songs mean a lot to her and she knows how much they mean to other people. those songs tend to make me cry on occasion, too. even if her's is fake, that's okay. she is very inspiring to me...not to be a singer, or famous really...it's just something about her that makes you want to be your best. she is so graceful. so though i am not really "thankful" for beyonce being on tyra...it made me smile.
3. the people i work with. yeah. i walked in to get my check today and they always say hi to me and smile, especially tammy. who is in love with derek and i as a couple. anyways... though everyone is not always so personable, there is usually at least one person who is happy to see me. or at least acts like it. and it makes me feel like i actually like working there sometimes haha. then i went to see my boo and i always like seeing him at work because that's where i met him.
4. the fact that i am so laid back and naturally focus on the positive and do not dwell. i have notice people who are constantly sad, miserable, mad, etc. over the past. and yeah those things may have hurt you but... there is nothing you can do about the past, only the future...so make your future happy by seeing everything good that can happen in it. and make the most of it. i know my mom is a dweller and it's impossible to push her out of her slumps...she is still mad about things that happened a long time ago just as if they happened yesterday. i just don't get it. i am SO grateful for my dad's patience, and ability to move on from negative things or turn them into something positive. for his ability to take things in stride and move past them. i can't thank him enough for giving me that! even if he really had very little to do with it.
5. i'll get this out of the way now with the first post... my family. i cannot tell you enough how much i love my mom, dad, sister, and brothers. sure, my mom has some trust/emotional/dwelling issues but don't we all? i wish i could bring her out of that and show her what an amazing life she could have if she just let herself be happy, but she won't really let anybody do that so when she has her good days and bad days, you just accept them. but i can say she rarely yelled at us, never hit/spanked us, and always had our best interests at heart. and i regret taking advantage of how much she wanted to give us and i am sorry that that ungratefulness is already instilled in my brothers as well, but we do love her and we do appreciate everything she does for us/gives us. we were just "taught" that if you lose or break something, you just get a new one. i am really happy she was/is my mom, though. i would not have been the same person. i would probably not be so sensitive. and then there is my dad. he really is the best dad in the world. he never yells, he never swears, and he always apologizes when he is wrong. he is so patient and understanding and accepting. and so laid back. and will do ANYTHING for his kids. and i mean anything. i know that he would go to the ends of the earth to help me with something i needed and i really really appreciate that. i am so glad i got his patient personality like i said before. i don't tell him i love him enough. and barely did when i was younger. because things were different. but i know he knows i do. as for my sister, we did not get along so well when she was a teenager but i remember before that, and after that phase. it's nice to have an older sister. i do look up to her even if i don't show her that. she had her own house at 27. she's single and fine with that, and she is extremely fashionable. which i know very well because i used to take her clothes out of her closet haha. she lets her little sister rent from her and live in her house. i think we admire different things in each other. i admire her will power and i think she admires my let it be, live your life attitude. i've often said i wish i had an older brother but again, i would be a different person. my brother jake, i remember when my mom was pregnant with him. i remember his lazy eye and huge glasses and big curly hair. he was the cutest. i remember building forts and stuff with him. and making up games. we had SO much fun as kids. i'm only 4 years older than him even though i feel a lot older now. and billy, things were the same with him only he is 6 years younger than me they have very different personalities. jake would always get mad and me and bill would be the ones laughing at him.it was fun having two little brothers. i think they helped keep my imagination alive and i am VERY thankful for that. they also kept the little kid in me alive. when we are all together now we still act like we are in elementary school. it's a good thing to have. i would never ever wish again that things were different.
i'm sure we'll be taking family pictures tomorrow at thanksgiving AS ALWAYS!
maybe i will post one or two.
thanks, oprah.
in light of the thanksgiving/ christmas
holiday season... i am going to start something
that i saw on oprah a long time ago.
a gratitude journal.
instead of looking at the negative things that
happen each day i will be forced to look for
the positive things! which will therefore improve
my [already extremely positive] attitude!
5 things that happen to me each day
that i am grateful for.
i am going to try and do things
that happen to me each day instead of just
THINGS i am grateful for because...
that would just be mundane.
so here we go.
will have better ones at another time.
holiday season... i am going to start something
that i saw on oprah a long time ago.
a gratitude journal.
instead of looking at the negative things that
happen each day i will be forced to look for
the positive things! which will therefore improve
my [already extremely positive] attitude!
5 things that happen to me each day
that i am grateful for.
i am going to try and do things
that happen to me each day instead of just
THINGS i am grateful for because...
that would just be mundane.
so here we go.
will have better ones at another time.
mush.
i am sooo mushy. got dang i hate
being a woman sometimes. or just the fact
that i have the single worst case of pms
in the world. and don't even get me started
on my cramps.
so anyways, looking at the still from the oprah
video in my previous post actually makes my heart
drop. that boy just gets to me for some reason.
i'm telling you it's my weakness for younger brothers,
i feel a need to protect them. my little bruddas. <3
i have been texting them a lot lately, i feel a need
to keep in touch because i moved out when i was 19.
we were really close. my sister didn't move out til she
was 25 or 26 i think...but i'm sure they understand.
they got my room, so i think they are happy haha. my room
was literally the size of derek's entire apt.
and my brothers had a tiny room to share. so i'm glad they
got it haha.
okay and we have this salvation army tree at work
with slips that have a needy kid's name on it and
what they REALLY REALLY want for xmas and their clothes
size in case you want to get them something extra.
and i had to take one. looking at that tree made me want
to cry because a lot of the kids just wanted something
so simple. i picked a kid who wanted a 6 inch michael jordan
figurine. i'm going to get him some other stuff too but
omg i want to cry. i wish i would have got the littlest pet
shop one because i am obsessed with it even though they aren't
the same as when i was little but...i bought some for samantha
haha because EVERYBODY SHOULD HAVE LITTLEST PET SHOP.
but i am happy with the kid i picked. if i could, i would
have picked every single one but...i am not that fortunate.
allison's sister got a new puppy and i love him! his name
is jake and he is a lab/chow mix. he looks a lot more lab but
he has the curly chow tail and the underside of his tongue is black
haha. he is tan/yellowish. he's a little brat but he's so fluffy.[:
one more thing, i got my hair cut today. it's pretty short.
a little past my shoulders. i used to like my hair down to my butt
but lately i like it like middle of my back. my hair grows so fast though
that if i get it cut where i want it, it will be too long in a week or so.
and allison dyed it red again. only we put less blonde in this time...
and OMG it is RED. super red. i don't mind, i really like it
but i might look like my head is on fire.
i'm cool wid it do.
okay time for hot cocoa latte with my boo.
cuddles fo sho.
-mints.
being a woman sometimes. or just the fact
that i have the single worst case of pms
in the world. and don't even get me started
on my cramps.
so anyways, looking at the still from the oprah
video in my previous post actually makes my heart
drop. that boy just gets to me for some reason.
i'm telling you it's my weakness for younger brothers,
i feel a need to protect them. my little bruddas. <3
i have been texting them a lot lately, i feel a need
to keep in touch because i moved out when i was 19.
we were really close. my sister didn't move out til she
was 25 or 26 i think...but i'm sure they understand.
they got my room, so i think they are happy haha. my room
was literally the size of derek's entire apt.
and my brothers had a tiny room to share. so i'm glad they
got it haha.
okay and we have this salvation army tree at work
with slips that have a needy kid's name on it and
what they REALLY REALLY want for xmas and their clothes
size in case you want to get them something extra.
and i had to take one. looking at that tree made me want
to cry because a lot of the kids just wanted something
so simple. i picked a kid who wanted a 6 inch michael jordan
figurine. i'm going to get him some other stuff too but
omg i want to cry. i wish i would have got the littlest pet
shop one because i am obsessed with it even though they aren't
the same as when i was little but...i bought some for samantha
haha because EVERYBODY SHOULD HAVE LITTLEST PET SHOP.
but i am happy with the kid i picked. if i could, i would
have picked every single one but...i am not that fortunate.
allison's sister got a new puppy and i love him! his name
is jake and he is a lab/chow mix. he looks a lot more lab but
he has the curly chow tail and the underside of his tongue is black
haha. he is tan/yellowish. he's a little brat but he's so fluffy.[:
one more thing, i got my hair cut today. it's pretty short.
a little past my shoulders. i used to like my hair down to my butt
but lately i like it like middle of my back. my hair grows so fast though
that if i get it cut where i want it, it will be too long in a week or so.
and allison dyed it red again. only we put less blonde in this time...
and OMG it is RED. super red. i don't mind, i really like it
but i might look like my head is on fire.
i'm cool wid it do.
okay time for hot cocoa latte with my boo.
cuddles fo sho.
-mints.
i get teary eyed watching this.
i don't know why.
probably because i am pmsing.
but that poor kid has to live like that
and he is such a nice kid, and is totally
okay with everything. and to be his parents
and not know if there could be health
problems in the future is so sad.
i just feel sad that they are watching their
son love life and be a kid but at the same time
they don't know how much longer they will
be able to watch him do that.
not that there WILL be problems,
but there could be.
i guess i just relate it to my brothers.
i love my brothers so much,
i hope they know that.
oh,btwantm
i am really mad that mckey
[who's real name is brittany but she
thinks she is sweet because she got
to use the name mckey, probably something
she made up when she was 10 and used
to lie to all her friends and
say it was her real name and she has been
waiting to use it ever since and will probably
change it legally now that she is a "model"]
won.
she creeps me out.
yeah, she looks good in pictures but from watching
the show, she just has one of those creepy personalities
where if you were in a room with her alone,
or maybe just in a room with her- you would feel uncomfortable.
and no i am not bitter because my boo didn't win
[my boo]
because i was rooting for other people after she left.
i really liked marjorie.
even though she was super awkward, she knew
how to use it. i mean yeah she was probably
extremely frustrating to have a conversation
with but... whatever.
i also liked analeigh for a second.
anyone but "mckey"
and that's all i have to say about that.
[who's real name is brittany but she
thinks she is sweet because she got
to use the name mckey, probably something
she made up when she was 10 and used
to lie to all her friends and
say it was her real name and she has been
waiting to use it ever since and will probably
change it legally now that she is a "model"]
won.
she creeps me out.
yeah, she looks good in pictures but from watching
the show, she just has one of those creepy personalities
where if you were in a room with her alone,
or maybe just in a room with her- you would feel uncomfortable.
and no i am not bitter because my boo didn't win
[my boo]
because i was rooting for other people after she left.
i really liked marjorie.
even though she was super awkward, she knew
how to use it. i mean yeah she was probably
extremely frustrating to have a conversation
with but... whatever.
i also liked analeigh for a second.
anyone but "mckey"
and that's all i have to say about that.
i am sasha fierce
so , i bought it.
and if you're gonna buy a cd
you might as well buy the deluxe edition, right?
i think it is really good.
i love her, so i may be biased.
ever since destiny's child...
beyonce's voice has always gotten to me.
the beyonce part of the album is
slow but she is so good at those songs.
even if the situation has nothing to do
with what i am going through, it can
make me feel like crying.
and the sasha fierce side is good for
dancing around the living room
in your panty draws.
or in a club, maybe. lol.
but the only song i don't like
is diva.
i don't really like the word diva anymore.
haha i don't know why.
it's a good cd, though. def.
and while i listen to it...
derek will be studying the pictures
in the little booklet.
and telling beyonce all the things
he'd like to do to her.
right. hahaha.
and if you're gonna buy a cd
you might as well buy the deluxe edition, right?
i think it is really good.
i love her, so i may be biased.
ever since destiny's child...
beyonce's voice has always gotten to me.
the beyonce part of the album is
slow but she is so good at those songs.
even if the situation has nothing to do
with what i am going through, it can
make me feel like crying.
and the sasha fierce side is good for
dancing around the living room
in your panty draws.
or in a club, maybe. lol.
but the only song i don't like
is diva.
i don't really like the word diva anymore.
haha i don't know why.
it's a good cd, though. def.
and while i listen to it...
derek will be studying the pictures
in the little booklet.
and telling beyonce all the things
he'd like to do to her.
right. hahaha.
worn out.
comment on my tattoo;
"you're gonna look real worn out when you're 40..."
it's funny how people think i care about that.
all i want to be when i am 40 is happy!
i am not trying to be a model. what do i care
if i look "worn out"...and because of a tattoo?
and if i don't like it when i am 40, then i am
sure i will have plenty of other things to
worry about aside from a tattoo i LOVED when
i was younger.
and anybody who happens to love me along the way
will love my tattoos, too...because they are a part
of me. and the only people who will matter are
the ones that love me!
i'm so tired of people asking why did i get tattoos,
what will i think when i am older, what will other people think
when i am older?
i am not one to think about the future very much.
i just let things happen. i happened to get my tattoos
and i have yet to run into any determining problems
such as not being offered a job, which is really the only
thing a tattoo can effect.
and let's face it...when our generation is old...
we will all be full of ink! nobody is going to
care. so as far as when i am older, i'm sure 1 out of every
3 people that are my age will have a tattoo.
and i will encourage my kids to get tattoos!
however, i will supervise what they get...
no tribal or tramp stamps for my future babies.
and the artist they go to.
because if i kept going to my other tattoo "artist",
i can guarantee you i would be embarassed of
my chest right now. but i am not. whew.
i'm just so tired of negativity. if i'm
not hurting you then why do you care?
really?
my mom and sister both have said,
"what about at your wedding?"
well, it will be MY wedding...and
since i love my tattoos...whats the problem?
my wedding will be for me right?
not for everyone else to judge me?
i don't even plan on wearing a big fancy
dress when i get married, and allison
has had words with me for that.
i just want a fancy cake and lots of dancing.
but that is off topic.
someone on the message board
even took the time to make this for me...
lol at my tattoos hindering my job
opportunities.
all three of my tattoos are EASILY concealed.
get over yourselves!
and the people who are saying we will regret our tattoos
are the ones without tattoos, or with really bad ones.
more ink for us.
it's not that i have gotten all negative comments about
my tattoo...the majority have been VERY positive.
i have even had a couple people recognize that it
was from edgar allen poe. which warmed my heart.
i love how people can learn about each other
just from their tattoos. it's like when bikers wave
to each other. when you see someone with a cool
tattoo and then they look at yours it's almost
like a wave, right?
you recognize the commonality in each other.
however small it may be. you both endured
the pain of the needle. grrrrr.
and those meetings often lead to...
"so how much did that one hurt?"
how could you not want a tattoo.
and don't even get me started on piercings...
apparently people don't realize that they are easily removed.
and though some people care about scars,
i love scars...so i guess that's why i don't mind.
LONG LIVE THE BODY MODS!
pssst...
donald trump is not fond of tattoos!
and i was right about 1/3 people under 30 having
at least one tattoo. so by the time we are old,
maybe it will be 1/2. [;
"The researchers found that people who drink, do drugs, have spent time in jail or have given up religion are more likely to be tattooed"
awww i got a tattoo because i don't believe in god.
i always knew there was a reason behind it.
"you're gonna look real worn out when you're 40..."
it's funny how people think i care about that.
all i want to be when i am 40 is happy!
i am not trying to be a model. what do i care
if i look "worn out"...and because of a tattoo?
and if i don't like it when i am 40, then i am
sure i will have plenty of other things to
worry about aside from a tattoo i LOVED when
i was younger.
and anybody who happens to love me along the way
will love my tattoos, too...because they are a part
of me. and the only people who will matter are
the ones that love me!
i'm so tired of people asking why did i get tattoos,
what will i think when i am older, what will other people think
when i am older?
i am not one to think about the future very much.
i just let things happen. i happened to get my tattoos
and i have yet to run into any determining problems
such as not being offered a job, which is really the only
thing a tattoo can effect.
and let's face it...when our generation is old...
we will all be full of ink! nobody is going to
care. so as far as when i am older, i'm sure 1 out of every
3 people that are my age will have a tattoo.
and i will encourage my kids to get tattoos!
however, i will supervise what they get...
no tribal or tramp stamps for my future babies.
and the artist they go to.
because if i kept going to my other tattoo "artist",
i can guarantee you i would be embarassed of
my chest right now. but i am not. whew.
i'm just so tired of negativity. if i'm
not hurting you then why do you care?
really?
my mom and sister both have said,
"what about at your wedding?"
well, it will be MY wedding...and
since i love my tattoos...whats the problem?
my wedding will be for me right?
not for everyone else to judge me?
i don't even plan on wearing a big fancy
dress when i get married, and allison
has had words with me for that.
i just want a fancy cake and lots of dancing.
but that is off topic.
someone on the message board
even took the time to make this for me...
lol at my tattoos hindering my job
opportunities.
all three of my tattoos are EASILY concealed.
get over yourselves!
and the people who are saying we will regret our tattoos
are the ones without tattoos, or with really bad ones.
more ink for us.
it's not that i have gotten all negative comments about
my tattoo...the majority have been VERY positive.
i have even had a couple people recognize that it
was from edgar allen poe. which warmed my heart.
i love how people can learn about each other
just from their tattoos. it's like when bikers wave
to each other. when you see someone with a cool
tattoo and then they look at yours it's almost
like a wave, right?
you recognize the commonality in each other.
however small it may be. you both endured
the pain of the needle. grrrrr.
and those meetings often lead to...
"so how much did that one hurt?"
how could you not want a tattoo.
and don't even get me started on piercings...
apparently people don't realize that they are easily removed.
and though some people care about scars,
i love scars...so i guess that's why i don't mind.
LONG LIVE THE BODY MODS!
pssst...
donald trump is not fond of tattoos!
and i was right about 1/3 people under 30 having
at least one tattoo. so by the time we are old,
maybe it will be 1/2. [;
"The researchers found that people who drink, do drugs, have spent time in jail or have given up religion are more likely to be tattooed"
awww i got a tattoo because i don't believe in god.
i always knew there was a reason behind it.
literal.
i submitted my tat to literary tattoos.
i gave a weak explanation but it would
take a while to say what it means to me.
i will submit derek's later when he tells
me what he wants me to write.
i love my tattoo.
i love his tattoo.
last night i told him he will always remember
me because we got our big tattoos together.
and he said "you think i would forget about you?"
i said "maybe" and he said "why?"
"...i don't know".
i don't know?
i rode wildfire today, he is a grey
pony with blue eyes and i am so in love
with him. he cuddles me and likes when
you brush his face.
he is so much different than happy,
he's much smaller than happy and
his canter is so tiny that you
barely feel him under you. so cute.
he looks like a breyer horse with his little
pink hooves. i wish i had taken a picture
after i gave him his bath.
and today kim told derek &i that we are MEANT to be
and though i hate "meant to be's" and "soul mates"
i can't help but think about the whole way things
happened. how i saw him everywhere after i saw him
at work. and how i was just drawn to him. even though
i had always dated um...black guys before. it was just
something about him.
and i know it was an unfortunate end for
his prior relationship, and my intent was never to impose...
but i truly believe things happen for a reason.
i really do. and that will always comfort me,
even when i feel like i did the wrong thing.
plus i am tired of dwelling, i just want to LIVE!
after i ride, it's like i just went to an hour long
therapy session, and things just float through
my head as opposed to everything cramming
itself in at once.
the tattoo makes me feel good, too.
even if people tell me they like it
and then go to someone else and say
"WHY DID SHE DO THAT?!"
not cool, guyzzzz.
i gave a weak explanation but it would
take a while to say what it means to me.
i will submit derek's later when he tells
me what he wants me to write.
i love my tattoo.
i love his tattoo.
last night i told him he will always remember
me because we got our big tattoos together.
and he said "you think i would forget about you?"
i said "maybe" and he said "why?"
"...i don't know".
i don't know?
i rode wildfire today, he is a grey
pony with blue eyes and i am so in love
with him. he cuddles me and likes when
you brush his face.
he is so much different than happy,
he's much smaller than happy and
his canter is so tiny that you
barely feel him under you. so cute.
he looks like a breyer horse with his little
pink hooves. i wish i had taken a picture
after i gave him his bath.
and today kim told derek &i that we are MEANT to be
and though i hate "meant to be's" and "soul mates"
i can't help but think about the whole way things
happened. how i saw him everywhere after i saw him
at work. and how i was just drawn to him. even though
i had always dated um...black guys before. it was just
something about him.
and i know it was an unfortunate end for
his prior relationship, and my intent was never to impose...
but i truly believe things happen for a reason.
i really do. and that will always comfort me,
even when i feel like i did the wrong thing.
plus i am tired of dwelling, i just want to LIVE!
after i ride, it's like i just went to an hour long
therapy session, and things just float through
my head as opposed to everything cramming
itself in at once.
the tattoo makes me feel good, too.
even if people tell me they like it
and then go to someone else and say
"WHY DID SHE DO THAT?!"
not cool, guyzzzz.
inked.
my apologies for them being out of order.
him.
her.
them.
unsquished.
usssss.
being tough like joel told us to.
mid!
lol. his mug.
during.
also during.
so we didn't end up going around my neck like i wanted to
but i think this turned out to look really really good.
and better than it would have if we went with the original plan.
i love!
him.
her.
them.
unsquished.
usssss.
being tough like joel told us to.
mid!
lol. his mug.
during.
also during.
so we didn't end up going around my neck like i wanted to
but i think this turned out to look really really good.
and better than it would have if we went with the original plan.
i love!
word, babies.
tell em wussah, obamz.
btw, that old white guy in the back
is only standing up because everyone else did.
what he know but brushin' off your shoulders?
but mad upz for supporting obama.
come sit by me
lemme take ya weed,
don't do bling but we do white t!
ahh m.i.a. on vinyl. holler at it.
hussel hussel hussel!
also my very first record.
thanks, boo!
going back to dance now, kbye.
i'm broke this month didn't pay rent
i had to jump town and the money's all spent.
don't do bling but we do white t!
ahh m.i.a. on vinyl. holler at it.
hussel hussel hussel!
also my very first record.
thanks, boo!
going back to dance now, kbye.
i'm broke this month didn't pay rent
i had to jump town and the money's all spent.
today is the day....sortof.
we are going to see our tattoo
designs today. well, howeve he drew
them and let him know if we like!
then thursday is THE DAY. oh baby!
i figure i should tell my parents
BEFORE i get it so they don't
act all shocked and they cna just say
it's your body do what you want with
it and that will be cool. lol.
weird dream last night,
involving zombie school girls,
a computer in the basement,
my boyfriends ex girlfriend wearing
a tutu, and derek having the flu
in the kitchen at my old house.
i miss my old house.
i wish the people who moved in
didn't ruin it. they're so gross.
today i have off and it feels soooo good!
i slept like all day after work yesterday
i hope i am not getting sick.
i lost some weight and i am happy
because i wasn't even trying.
you know how you can just tell?
then i weighed myself and
i was right.
also, i have these random bruises all over my legs.
for some reason i ALWAYS have at least one bruise
on my legs. right now i have two HUGE ones
on my calf. i don't know where they came
from and they don't even hurt. and i have one
on each shin but i know what those are from.
it's so weird. one time i counted 7 bruises
on my legs. noticeable ones. they come out of
nowhere! mysterious.
well, i am going to eat more cookies.
oh and yesterday i learned
that in australia they call
cookies "bickies"
that's short for biscuits.
designs today. well, howeve he drew
them and let him know if we like!
then thursday is THE DAY. oh baby!
i figure i should tell my parents
BEFORE i get it so they don't
act all shocked and they cna just say
it's your body do what you want with
it and that will be cool. lol.
weird dream last night,
involving zombie school girls,
a computer in the basement,
my boyfriends ex girlfriend wearing
a tutu, and derek having the flu
in the kitchen at my old house.
i miss my old house.
i wish the people who moved in
didn't ruin it. they're so gross.
today i have off and it feels soooo good!
i slept like all day after work yesterday
i hope i am not getting sick.
i lost some weight and i am happy
because i wasn't even trying.
you know how you can just tell?
then i weighed myself and
i was right.
also, i have these random bruises all over my legs.
for some reason i ALWAYS have at least one bruise
on my legs. right now i have two HUGE ones
on my calf. i don't know where they came
from and they don't even hurt. and i have one
on each shin but i know what those are from.
it's so weird. one time i counted 7 bruises
on my legs. noticeable ones. they come out of
nowhere! mysterious.
well, i am going to eat more cookies.
oh and yesterday i learned
that in australia they call
cookies "bickies"
that's short for biscuits.
too cold.
i hates this weather.
but a few hours ago i ate
about a half of a box of
santa's favorite cookies!
yom. classic.
and passed out.
and now i don't feel so good.
but i'm going to eat more.
but a few hours ago i ate
about a half of a box of
santa's favorite cookies!
yom. classic.
and passed out.
and now i don't feel so good.
but i'm going to eat more.
CHRISTMAS!
is coming wayyyy too quickly.
i plan on making a lot of
things for people. i already have them
planned out, just have to start working on them.
i'm kindof excited. i think something i actually
put work into will mean more than the things
i buy.
[;
i plan on making a lot of
things for people. i already have them
planned out, just have to start working on them.
i'm kindof excited. i think something i actually
put work into will mean more than the things
i buy.
[;
the hypnotist show was CRAZY
i can't believe they can do that to people!
and the people didn't even remember.
sooo funny. i want to go see another one.
my mom gave me a coffee pot.
i've decided i want coffee.
maybe that was a pms decision
but i'll try it since i bought
some coffee creamer and she gave
me some coffee with it haha.
i'm really happy lately.
i've been a little touchy cos
of my pms, but that's over for
this month haha.
but other than that i am really
just trying to enjoy my life.
this year went so fast and it kindof
makes you think about how short life is.
not to sound sad. i just mean that
we need to spend more time
enjoying it than worrying about it.
yay.
-mints.
i can't believe they can do that to people!
and the people didn't even remember.
sooo funny. i want to go see another one.
my mom gave me a coffee pot.
i've decided i want coffee.
maybe that was a pms decision
but i'll try it since i bought
some coffee creamer and she gave
me some coffee with it haha.
i'm really happy lately.
i've been a little touchy cos
of my pms, but that's over for
this month haha.
but other than that i am really
just trying to enjoy my life.
this year went so fast and it kindof
makes you think about how short life is.
not to sound sad. i just mean that
we need to spend more time
enjoying it than worrying about it.
yay.
-mints.
antm rage.
i totally forgot [probably because i was so mad]
to rant about how they kicked my gf elina off
of antm last week! she is so hot. and the prettiest
one, by far. and she's gone. i realize that
she was too controlled, but i think she will
get work despite that. considering all
fashion photography does not involve hanging upside
down and screaming at the top of your lungs.
i love her.
what reminded me of this is that i had a dream
last night about her.
well, it started with me&derek in a big warehouse
type store and there was this GIANT bunny and i wanted
it so bad and he said shooter wouldn't like it,
then the bunny turned into a doll looking girl
and she was speaking a different language and
acting really shy and i didn't want her anymore.
then i was walking around buffalo,
which looked more like toronto, it
looked really cool and i went to eat in
this cute cafe. and i sat at a table with elina.
and while we were eating she was like,
do you usually eat in lesbian cafe's?
and i said no.
and then this butch lesbian came up
to our table and said it was her table
and i asked if she could wait til we finished eating
and she told me to stop whining and i said
"you're the one whining when you could just get another table"
and then elina and i started walking through town
and it was really nice out and we were passing this
barn with evil horses. they trained them that way, i guess.
and she almost walked through but i told her to stop because the
horses would bite her. and i got stuck near some goats that were
also evil and they kept biting me and trying to hurt me.
so we went to starbucks and we were sitting on the steps
outside and i went in to get my drink and i got distracted by
some trivia game they were having in the back and i took awhile
so when i went outside it was snowing. and i had left my shoes
outside when it was hot, i guess and had to walk through the
snow in my bare feet. elina and i were holding hands.
and i kept thinking if i should ask her to come
back to my apartment. and then telling myself
i shouldn't because she isn't like that.
and then i woke up.
and i was in love with her.
lol.
she was a lot shorter in my dream, though
she was about my height. i guess she is 5'10 in
real life. yikes.
to rant about how they kicked my gf elina off
of antm last week! she is so hot. and the prettiest
one, by far. and she's gone. i realize that
she was too controlled, but i think she will
get work despite that. considering all
fashion photography does not involve hanging upside
down and screaming at the top of your lungs.
i love her.
what reminded me of this is that i had a dream
last night about her.
well, it started with me&derek in a big warehouse
type store and there was this GIANT bunny and i wanted
it so bad and he said shooter wouldn't like it,
then the bunny turned into a doll looking girl
and she was speaking a different language and
acting really shy and i didn't want her anymore.
then i was walking around buffalo,
which looked more like toronto, it
looked really cool and i went to eat in
this cute cafe. and i sat at a table with elina.
and while we were eating she was like,
do you usually eat in lesbian cafe's?
and i said no.
and then this butch lesbian came up
to our table and said it was her table
and i asked if she could wait til we finished eating
and she told me to stop whining and i said
"you're the one whining when you could just get another table"
and then elina and i started walking through town
and it was really nice out and we were passing this
barn with evil horses. they trained them that way, i guess.
and she almost walked through but i told her to stop because the
horses would bite her. and i got stuck near some goats that were
also evil and they kept biting me and trying to hurt me.
so we went to starbucks and we were sitting on the steps
outside and i went in to get my drink and i got distracted by
some trivia game they were having in the back and i took awhile
so when i went outside it was snowing. and i had left my shoes
outside when it was hot, i guess and had to walk through the
snow in my bare feet. elina and i were holding hands.
and i kept thinking if i should ask her to come
back to my apartment. and then telling myself
i shouldn't because she isn't like that.
and then i woke up.
and i was in love with her.
lol.
she was a lot shorter in my dream, though
she was about my height. i guess she is 5'10 in
real life. yikes.
baby, keep smilin'.
wow, what a day! i can't believe how nice it is outside
it's a shame it won't last.
riding was great today. i rode happy and there
was another girl riding in my lesson with me
today. it was so warm! ahhh i love it.
he was sooo sweaty after, i had to give him
a bath. he was like
"i just grew out my winter coat,
why is it 70 degrees out!? neigh,neigh,neigh."
so after his bath i brushed him for a loooooong
time. just because it was relaxing and he was lovin' it.
and i fed him lots o' carrots.
for some reason happy is so much more comfortable
to me when i am riding. i never ever lose my stirrup on
him. for some reason on lily i always lose my left
stirrup. i think it might be because he is rounder
and my legs can wrap around him better. who knows.
but i like riding that cute appyloo.
soooo i also was all energized after riding
and i cleaned out my car.
[i know everyone that has been in my car recently
is like FINALLY!!!!! hallelujah, amen, thank you thank you!]
and i took shooter for a walk out back and picked
up the beer cans that our new neighbors think
it's okay to throw down the hill.
and picked up all their cigarette butts outside
by the door, and left them a note asking them
to please not leave their cigarette butts on
the ground because we have a dog here that
like to eat things. hopefully they don't
take it the wrong way, and just respect it.
sometimes they even leave them smoking on the ground
and what if shooter was to pick one up,
or step on one? not cool, sonny's.
it was a very nice note, and i would have
asked them in person if i ever saw them out there.
it's weird. i never see them. maybe once or twice i have.
oh well.
i am going to watch dr. phil/oprah,
shower, and then go to dinner and the
hypnotist show with my dad, brothers, and derek.
have a lovely day and go outside!
hurry before it gets dark outside!
it's a shame it won't last.
riding was great today. i rode happy and there
was another girl riding in my lesson with me
today. it was so warm! ahhh i love it.
he was sooo sweaty after, i had to give him
a bath. he was like
"i just grew out my winter coat,
why is it 70 degrees out!? neigh,neigh,neigh."
so after his bath i brushed him for a loooooong
time. just because it was relaxing and he was lovin' it.
and i fed him lots o' carrots.
for some reason happy is so much more comfortable
to me when i am riding. i never ever lose my stirrup on
him. for some reason on lily i always lose my left
stirrup. i think it might be because he is rounder
and my legs can wrap around him better. who knows.
but i like riding that cute appyloo.
soooo i also was all energized after riding
and i cleaned out my car.
[i know everyone that has been in my car recently
is like FINALLY!!!!! hallelujah, amen, thank you thank you!]
and i took shooter for a walk out back and picked
up the beer cans that our new neighbors think
it's okay to throw down the hill.
and picked up all their cigarette butts outside
by the door, and left them a note asking them
to please not leave their cigarette butts on
the ground because we have a dog here that
like to eat things. hopefully they don't
take it the wrong way, and just respect it.
sometimes they even leave them smoking on the ground
and what if shooter was to pick one up,
or step on one? not cool, sonny's.
it was a very nice note, and i would have
asked them in person if i ever saw them out there.
it's weird. i never see them. maybe once or twice i have.
oh well.
i am going to watch dr. phil/oprah,
shower, and then go to dinner and the
hypnotist show with my dad, brothers, and derek.
have a lovely day and go outside!
hurry before it gets dark outside!
zillycakes!
buffalo making news! and the cake wrecks blog!
zilly rosen of zillycakes in buffalo, ny
made a portrait of president-elect obama out
of 1,240 cupcakes!
[it's funny how everyone from buffalo acts like it's an
OKAY place to live, but when we see it in the news
or anybody reppin buffalo we get all hyped up like YEAHHH BUFFALO!!
at least, i know i do. ]
zilly rosen of zillycakes in buffalo, ny
made a portrait of president-elect obama out
of 1,240 cupcakes!
[it's funny how everyone from buffalo acts like it's an
OKAY place to live, but when we see it in the news
or anybody reppin buffalo we get all hyped up like YEAHHH BUFFALO!!
at least, i know i do. ]
<3
my boo brought me a gift back from
his florida getaway!
M.I.A. on vinyl. awesome.
and a free hot water music
hoodie that may or may not fit me.
lol.
i have riding tomorrow! didn't go on halloween
so that's a week i missed. i'm gonna be sore on
saturday!
then we are going to dinner and then to
see a hypnotist show with my dad and brothers.
should be fun.
[and sai, he loved his cupcakes!]
he sent me a text saying i make amazing cupcakes
and it made me feel really good.
so i tried one when i came home and they ARE good.
the fondant is softer now, and not as chewy
so it's even better than before. yum.
things feel so good between us.
perfect.
i think him getting his stuff had something to do with it.
he just seems less stressed in general now.
and it feels good.
there is just no tension whatsoever between us anymore
and i'm loving it.
i just feel so close to him now.
my boo<3
[a pic for good measure]
such an old picture! from when we first started dating.
i hate my face, mostly because of my lack of chin.
but i love his face. it says so much.
thank you, boo! for being mine!
we've had drama. but i've stayed because
i really feel like i have a reason to.
i think this is what it feels like.
his florida getaway!
M.I.A. on vinyl. awesome.
and a free hot water music
hoodie that may or may not fit me.
lol.
i have riding tomorrow! didn't go on halloween
so that's a week i missed. i'm gonna be sore on
saturday!
then we are going to dinner and then to
see a hypnotist show with my dad and brothers.
should be fun.
[and sai, he loved his cupcakes!]
he sent me a text saying i make amazing cupcakes
and it made me feel really good.
so i tried one when i came home and they ARE good.
the fondant is softer now, and not as chewy
so it's even better than before. yum.
things feel so good between us.
perfect.
i think him getting his stuff had something to do with it.
he just seems less stressed in general now.
and it feels good.
there is just no tension whatsoever between us anymore
and i'm loving it.
i just feel so close to him now.
my boo<3
[a pic for good measure]
such an old picture! from when we first started dating.
i hate my face, mostly because of my lack of chin.
but i love his face. it says so much.
thank you, boo! for being mine!
we've had drama. but i've stayed because
i really feel like i have a reason to.
i think this is what it feels like.
today i learned [11/06]
i am bad at keeping things like this together.
haha, i missed a day of what i learned.
that's okay, i work a lot!
so today i learned [once again] that
things can be gone so fast.
a fellow cashier of mine's house burned down...
early this morning, i guess.
she lost EVERYTHING. everything.
i can't imagine losing everything in my house.
it was caused by a neighboring building, i guess.
so sad.
i need to hold more value in the things i have
and not always be looking for the next thing to buy.
material things are not everything, i know...
and if your house burns down and everyone lives,
at least you have each other, right?
but all those memories...
EVERYTHING!
i can't imagine losing everything.
even her clothes!
my thoughts go out to mary ellen,
hope things are okay with her.
watching everything you own
and everything you've worked for
and all of your memories
burn to the ground...
sad.sad.sad.
and she was going to come to work today!!!
tops is NOT that important.
i promise! haha.
but knowing me, i would probably go to work
just to distract myself.
oh no, i am turning into my mom.
haha, i missed a day of what i learned.
that's okay, i work a lot!
so today i learned [once again] that
things can be gone so fast.
a fellow cashier of mine's house burned down...
early this morning, i guess.
she lost EVERYTHING. everything.
i can't imagine losing everything in my house.
it was caused by a neighboring building, i guess.
so sad.
i need to hold more value in the things i have
and not always be looking for the next thing to buy.
material things are not everything, i know...
and if your house burns down and everyone lives,
at least you have each other, right?
but all those memories...
EVERYTHING!
i can't imagine losing everything.
even her clothes!
my thoughts go out to mary ellen,
hope things are okay with her.
watching everything you own
and everything you've worked for
and all of your memories
burn to the ground...
sad.sad.sad.
and she was going to come to work today!!!
tops is NOT that important.
i promise! haha.
but knowing me, i would probably go to work
just to distract myself.
oh no, i am turning into my mom.
BOOOOO!
so it's 12:45 and my boo is home already!
he came home at like...6am.
when i woke up to the phone ringing
i was so confused but i picked it up
and it was my boo saying he'd be home
in 15 min! yay.
so now i really don't want to go to work
but that's okay. my boo is sleepin in his bed
...where he should be. <3
welcome home nanis.
he came home at like...6am.
when i woke up to the phone ringing
i was so confused but i picked it up
and it was my boo saying he'd be home
in 15 min! yay.
so now i really don't want to go to work
but that's okay. my boo is sleepin in his bed
...where he should be. <3
welcome home nanis.
YES!
we did it, america!
a leap in the right direction.
i have tremendous faith in him.
i wish rosa parks could see this now.
i wish martin luther king jr. could
see this now.
i wish everyone who fought so hard
who is not alive
could SEE THIS NOW!
i really wish his grandmother could see this now...
but i think her passing yesterday was kindof her saying
that she already knew. no?
yes.
p.s. derek is in columbus, ohio and says you can
hear everyone screaming!
it's quiet here in lancaster, but that's
to be expected.
one more picture, because it's hilarious...
today i learned [11/04]
that elections like this are quite emotional.
i am excited to hear the turn out.
i can't believe it is only 7!
if mccain wins the presidency there's nothing
i can do about it, but i will be more nervous
than if obama wins. i think biden will make
a great vp, and president if anything
happens to obama. palin...not so sure about her.
this morning i woke up feeling really good
it may have been the weather and the fact
that gas is down to 2.79
but i also felt like i should be wearing
a big OBAMA pin.
very exciting. and scary.
and AWESOME to see that we
actually have a black man,
and a woman RUNNING FOR OFFICE.
we may not get a lot "right"
as americans but i think we
are drifting in a good direction
with both of those things.
it warms my heart.
it even warms my heart when i see hate
videos like this;
because i know that having a black man
running for president makes them feel really
small. small like "hey, maybe the world
doesn't belong to white people, and i still
feel like it should."
which is why they are getting so mad about it.
kinda funny because if obama is elected president
they will feel ever SMALLER because someone
they hate with such ignorance will be running their nation.
GObamaaaaaa!
i think it's really great to let your kids
call barack a monkey, too...
and i love how they act like they know EVERYTHING.
so entertaining.
i am excited to hear the turn out.
i can't believe it is only 7!
if mccain wins the presidency there's nothing
i can do about it, but i will be more nervous
than if obama wins. i think biden will make
a great vp, and president if anything
happens to obama. palin...not so sure about her.
this morning i woke up feeling really good
it may have been the weather and the fact
that gas is down to 2.79
but i also felt like i should be wearing
a big OBAMA pin.
very exciting. and scary.
and AWESOME to see that we
actually have a black man,
and a woman RUNNING FOR OFFICE.
we may not get a lot "right"
as americans but i think we
are drifting in a good direction
with both of those things.
it warms my heart.
it even warms my heart when i see hate
videos like this;
because i know that having a black man
running for president makes them feel really
small. small like "hey, maybe the world
doesn't belong to white people, and i still
feel like it should."
which is why they are getting so mad about it.
kinda funny because if obama is elected president
they will feel ever SMALLER because someone
they hate with such ignorance will be running their nation.
GObamaaaaaa!
i think it's really great to let your kids
call barack a monkey, too...
and i love how they act like they know EVERYTHING.
so entertaining.
cupz.
ah, so my phone on my camera sucks
but it's all i have right now...
they looked/smelled so good i didn't even want to frost them.
[yellow cake]
my frosting station. :]
hearts!
frosting gun holler.
the end!
i need some practice lol but
i still think they are cute.
the suns look like eggs but i didn't want TOO much frosting
on there. especially the fondant, it's really sweet and thick
and kinda chewy.
buttt TASTY!
hope my boo likes!
but it's all i have right now...
they looked/smelled so good i didn't even want to frost them.
[yellow cake]
my frosting station. :]
hearts!
frosting gun holler.
the end!
i need some practice lol but
i still think they are cute.
the suns look like eggs but i didn't want TOO much frosting
on there. especially the fondant, it's really sweet and thick
and kinda chewy.
buttt TASTY!
hope my boo likes!
well,
i just woke up. and i am about to head over
to my sister's to complete the cupcakes and
do some laundry.
but i had to post my dream!
or the parts that i remember.
i remember this girl dorian i know and her bf
were so happy that they lived out in the country
in some little cabin type house with six kids
and i went to their house and it was pretty small
but it kept getting bigger as i went into each room.
then i was at a bar talking to some girl
and her manager told me she would give me
a billion dollars for something i did for her
and the girl was like "okay, how much do you want"
and i was like i dono, how much do you want to give me?
expecting her to say like a couple million...
she said $100. i was like no way, your boss said a billion
before, i want at least 3 million! and she was like
"you asked how much i wanted to give you..."
and then she just kept ignoring me and cleaning out cups.
then
i went to this weird school and barack obama
was my english teacher and he lived in the school attic
it was up some old spiral staircase and had lots and
lots of books and dim lighting.
i had to go up there to see him about something
and i felt like he was lonely so i asked if
he wanted to come help me find my friends.
he said no but i walked out real slow and looked
back at him when i got to the door. then as i was walking
down the stairs i heard him coming so i waited. then at
the bottom of the stairs there was a maze and he told me how to get
through it.
then we got to where all the "clubs" and stuff were to
look for my friends. it was like a big fancy courtyard
all the ground was marble. there was a girl in this built in
jacuzzi and the water was bright yellow and so was her
bathing suit/swimcap. and the clubs looked like shops all
lined up with windows in the front. one looked like a funhouse,
with a slide on the side and stuff.
so we couldn't find my friends and i asked if he wanted
to go dance. then alyssa ran up and grabbed me.
we were all walking by some water and it started getting dark out so
we went into a building. in the building the walls were
all different colors and they started closing in on us.
i was like "what is this, wizard of oz?!"
[even though that didn't happen in wizard of oz]
and we were laughing and jumping up to different levels
then captain hook came out! and we were trying to get
away from him.
there were all these different doors that appeared
and then he was in front of me and then it all stopped
and someone came in and took us away because games
like that were now illegal. and i got mad because we were
having a lot of fun.
so i don't remember what happened to alyssa
or barack.
next i know i am walking through a mall with a friend
i don't remember who it was. but i was like "we have to go into
this store" it was a piercing shop/clothing store. but in the back
it looked like an old saloon and they gave out free doughnuts.
and it looked so familiar to me like it was in another dream before.
so we went in and looked around but they turned the doughnut part
into the piercing place so i was upset.
then we were walking through the mall and there were all these
model hot tubs and there were people in them. like packed in.
and they were gross looking people, too. so we kept looking at them.
then i don't know what happened to my friend but i was
running on a street along a beach and i saw a building
that was a library and it was so familiar to me,
[and i actually remember the dream i had where i was in that library.]
but i was running and running and not running out of breath
and i said i can't wait to tell derek i ran all the way from the
beach back home! and then i kept running some more
and then i woke up.
wow that was long.
to my sister's to complete the cupcakes and
do some laundry.
but i had to post my dream!
or the parts that i remember.
i remember this girl dorian i know and her bf
were so happy that they lived out in the country
in some little cabin type house with six kids
and i went to their house and it was pretty small
but it kept getting bigger as i went into each room.
then i was at a bar talking to some girl
and her manager told me she would give me
a billion dollars for something i did for her
and the girl was like "okay, how much do you want"
and i was like i dono, how much do you want to give me?
expecting her to say like a couple million...
she said $100. i was like no way, your boss said a billion
before, i want at least 3 million! and she was like
"you asked how much i wanted to give you..."
and then she just kept ignoring me and cleaning out cups.
then
i went to this weird school and barack obama
was my english teacher and he lived in the school attic
it was up some old spiral staircase and had lots and
lots of books and dim lighting.
i had to go up there to see him about something
and i felt like he was lonely so i asked if
he wanted to come help me find my friends.
he said no but i walked out real slow and looked
back at him when i got to the door. then as i was walking
down the stairs i heard him coming so i waited. then at
the bottom of the stairs there was a maze and he told me how to get
through it.
then we got to where all the "clubs" and stuff were to
look for my friends. it was like a big fancy courtyard
all the ground was marble. there was a girl in this built in
jacuzzi and the water was bright yellow and so was her
bathing suit/swimcap. and the clubs looked like shops all
lined up with windows in the front. one looked like a funhouse,
with a slide on the side and stuff.
so we couldn't find my friends and i asked if he wanted
to go dance. then alyssa ran up and grabbed me.
we were all walking by some water and it started getting dark out so
we went into a building. in the building the walls were
all different colors and they started closing in on us.
i was like "what is this, wizard of oz?!"
[even though that didn't happen in wizard of oz]
and we were laughing and jumping up to different levels
then captain hook came out! and we were trying to get
away from him.
there were all these different doors that appeared
and then he was in front of me and then it all stopped
and someone came in and took us away because games
like that were now illegal. and i got mad because we were
having a lot of fun.
so i don't remember what happened to alyssa
or barack.
next i know i am walking through a mall with a friend
i don't remember who it was. but i was like "we have to go into
this store" it was a piercing shop/clothing store. but in the back
it looked like an old saloon and they gave out free doughnuts.
and it looked so familiar to me like it was in another dream before.
so we went in and looked around but they turned the doughnut part
into the piercing place so i was upset.
then we were walking through the mall and there were all these
model hot tubs and there were people in them. like packed in.
and they were gross looking people, too. so we kept looking at them.
then i don't know what happened to my friend but i was
running on a street along a beach and i saw a building
that was a library and it was so familiar to me,
[and i actually remember the dream i had where i was in that library.]
but i was running and running and not running out of breath
and i said i can't wait to tell derek i ran all the way from the
beach back home! and then i kept running some more
and then i woke up.
wow that was long.
today i learned [11/03]
how to make/made fondant! i can't wait to use
it tomorrow on the cupcakes i am making for my boo!
i even colored it! and it tastes really good, not
like the store-bought stuff!
i hope it all turns out as i am expecting. :)
it was really messy haha but also really
easy to clean up.
if anybody wants the recipe/some tips; just comment!
i will also post the finished product.
random quote:
"she walks in beauty, like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies;
and all that's best of dark and bright meet in her aspect and her eyes."
it tomorrow on the cupcakes i am making for my boo!
i even colored it! and it tastes really good, not
like the store-bought stuff!
i hope it all turns out as i am expecting. :)
it was really messy haha but also really
easy to clean up.
if anybody wants the recipe/some tips; just comment!
i will also post the finished product.
random quote:
"she walks in beauty, like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies;
and all that's best of dark and bright meet in her aspect and her eyes."
hahaha.
i love this video.
this was last year after christmas.
i got my boo the helicopter.
i love us.
i don't even know why we were laughing.
and hi, al! in the background.
this was last year after christmas.
i got my boo the helicopter.
i love us.
i don't even know why we were laughing.
and hi, al! in the background.
today i learned [11/02]
well, the cheese man was giving out samples next to
my department, so i am doing my work and i kept
hearing him say "aged cheddar cheese from canada,
prize winning cheddar, 6 year old cheddar cheese..."
so i'm like...let me go ask some questions.
so this expensive cheeses was made with "winter milk"
as opposed to "summer milk,"
that means that it came from an animal that was making
milk in the winter. because in the summer it is hotter
and the animal drinks more water, diluting the milk.
so winter milk is better.
i thought that was preeettt-ay cool.
and the cheese was good, too.
i am going to learn something every day.
i swear it.
my department, so i am doing my work and i kept
hearing him say "aged cheddar cheese from canada,
prize winning cheddar, 6 year old cheddar cheese..."
so i'm like...let me go ask some questions.
so this expensive cheeses was made with "winter milk"
as opposed to "summer milk,"
that means that it came from an animal that was making
milk in the winter. because in the summer it is hotter
and the animal drinks more water, diluting the milk.
so winter milk is better.
i thought that was preeettt-ay cool.
and the cheese was good, too.
i am going to learn something every day.
i swear it.
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