i felt like destroying something beautiful.

people don't very much appreciate that answer
to the tattoo/piercing questions unless they
are a fight club fan.

anyway...
decided to make a list
with photos if i have them
of what i have done to myself.

my first piercing was my belly button.
which i begged for on the kitchen floor/
foot of my mom's bed and promised not to tell my dad.
i recently took it out about two months ago
because it started feeling sore...after 4 years.
i miss it, though.

my second piercing was my nose.
i was in 11th grade and also begged my mom
on the kitchen floor to take me.
i took that one out shortly after
i got my anti-eyebrow because i thought
i had too much in my face.

my third was my monroe.
i think these were all within two years.
i said "yeah mom, last one i promise." [not]
so she took me and i hid it from my dad for approx.
two weeks [i'm good, i know] and then he saw it
and was over it shortly.


[when i had just my monroe and nose done.]

lets see...i think it was around then when i convinced
my mom to take me to get my first tattoo.
she dropped me off and paid for it. and picked me up
when it was done. i was all by myself. i still enjoyed it. lol.

it's the gemini constellation. i've been asked if it was connect
the dots or if it was stick figures holding hands. but no, it's gemini.
i've seen a few people copy me with this one. and though it's
annoying...there's nothing you can do about it, right?
[only pic i could find.]


next was my anti-eyebrow.
there was quite a bit of time between the monroe
and the anti. but i love my anti-eyebrow and keeping
it until it surfaces. it has been two years now
and we're still going strong! lol.


then i got a vertical hood piercing.
i have never taken a picture of it.
you can google hood piercings if you'd like.
recently took it out because my body got
used to it if you know what i'm saying.
i miss that one also a little bit.
kayla and i were in canada on clifton hill
and had some time to waste before we saw our friends.
and we went to this place and i got that, and she
got a bad tattoo that i can't believe i let her get.
[ex boyfriends name on butt, anybody?
at least it was his nick-name, though...so...i dono]
we laugh about it now. and it was fun at the time.

then was my second tattoo. my ex-boyfriend went with me
the first time. even though we weren't together at the time,
he came to take pictures. then it scabbed up and the tattoo
was pretty much gone. and derek went with me the second
time, pretty much when we first started talking.

it says al-Jamila in arabic, which translates in english
to "the pretty one" or "beautiful"
i was feeling good about myself at that time in my life and
it reminds me to stay feeling beautiful, all the time!
i also know of some people who have similarssss.
my friend ayla got arabic on her right wrist, but that
doesn't bother me. her's means faith. and it's bigger than
mine. i love her so it's like a bond type thing to me now, i guess.
i know this girl i used to be friends with got beauty on her wrist, too.
but she has issues and took all her friend's tattoo ideas
which is very annoying.


then i got my anti-tragus.
at this point they were coming at a rapid pace,
and there was nothing anybody could do about it.

took that out about... 3 months later because it was
giving me problems. it would get swollen and effect my hearing.
i could blame it on the place i had it done at.
but i didn't. and i kept going there. and i am never going
there again. :]
my best friend kayla still has her's.
though she got her's after me, she's had it more than 3 months.

uhh then i... what did i do?

oh, my smiley.

it annoys me sometimes because it's fun to play with
and i am afraid i might rip it out on accident.
but contrary to popular belief, i can brush my teeth and eat
just fine with it in. i've debated whether or not i should
take it out... still thinking about it.

i think my clavicles were my next and
most recent piercing after that...

took those out a couple months after because
they weren't even, and one wasn't deep enough.
and the one went under a tendon or something because
there was a weird bump. anyways...
i plan on getting them done again soon at a better place,
where they might actually do them right.
i was really sad that i had to take them out but figured
i'd look really dumb walking around with them being that way.
and my money was wasted.

then was my most recent tattoo, that is already
posted in here but i'll put it up anyways...


it was a bold decision but i love it, and my mom and aunt
don't seem to have any problems with it. i think they are used
to this. and i told my mom about it the night before so...you know.

about the script...it's a line from the poem
"a dream within a dream" by edgar allen poe.
i love this poem. very deep poem,
can be taken in many different ways. there is a
meaning to me beyond the poem. but a way that
i think and live. it would be hard to describe
to someone else. i don't even think derek gets it,
i have tried, though! but either way. it means a lot
to me. enough to get it on my chest.

as for my ear piercings. i've been doing those
by myself on and off for awhile now. they close up,
i just open them back up haha. they haven't closed
in a few years, though. i only have one hole in
each ear.


that's all i've done to myself to far...
more to come soon.